The adventures of captain Soap
by aint' no ghostmctavish
Summary: This story plays in alternative timeline after MW2. Captain Price and Soap join forces to destroy the evil general Shepherd and bring peace upon the United States of America!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

One day, capatain joan soap mactasivh woek up and was liek „wtf why do I have a cyber arm" because his arm was replaced with a cyber arm, so he went to captain price and asked hym why his arm was replaced whith a cyber arm.

„It's because you were dead and the doctor revived you. We gave you the arm because shephard kicked your original arm off. He also curbstomped you, throw you from a waterfall and stabbed you with a kniffe."

„Oh, okay" said soap.

Then captain price said „now, lets go. Shephherd is still out there and we have to prevent him from ruling the world." So Captain soap and Price went to Nikolai's Helicopter and flew to General Shephers secred hideout.

On the way, they found a sparkling faggot, so soap shot him in the face with an automatic grenade launcher. The faggots intestines were sprayed around and it's head was turned into a bloody mess. His eyes dropped out of his skull and there was blood all over his clothes because his arms and legs were violently ripped from their sockets and torn apart. Also, he screamed like a little girl because he was burning (that was edawrd cullen from twilight lol).

However, on the way to the hideout, they're helicopter was shot down. It crashed on the ground, crushing two innocent bystanders that were sitting on a park bench. Nevertheless, soap, price and Nikola got out of the helicopter.

„It seems that shephads soldiers shot down the helicopter", said Price, „so we have to hijack a car."

Luckily, soap spotted a car that was driving next to them so he pnched it with his scyber arm. The car stopped suddenly and soap pulled the driver out. He then shot the driver in the face with an assault rifle, reducing most of his upper body to a bloody mess but it was okay because the driver was a nazi.

They then drove to the hideout but they were stopped by a troop of soldiers from General Shehpherds private Army. The soldiers shot at soap but he missed because soap dodged the bullets. Then, he grabbed one of the soldiers and tore his heart out before he shot the other one in the head. He was hit by him with a pistol but he didn't care because he was to badass to care about other peoples bullets.

Then, Price said to soap: „I clear the building with nicola while you search for

sheparhd" so the three went different ways.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Soap and Price were searching for shephard. Suddenly, a group of soldiers from shephards army arrived and also a Juggernaut.

„I kill the juggernaut while you hold off the sodlers!" said soap. Then, he took out his desert eagle and shot the juggernaut in the face. However, the juggernaut was armored to good and just stood there laughing. Ahfter he has shot his whole magazine into the juggernaut, soap was so pissed off that the just walked towards him and kicked him in the face. The juggernatu suddently stopped laughing because he was hurled across the room by soaps kick.

„DIE MOTEHRFUCKA DIE!" Shouted the jgugernaut angrily and charged agaisnt soap. Soap managed to dogde and the juggernaut instead rammed into a prick wall. Then, he was so pissed off that he took out his Machine gun and started firing at soap. Soap dodged again, but was hit by one of the bullets in the chest. The juggernaut smiled statistically and took out his Magnum Revovler to deliver the finishing move to soap and said „Is this all you've got, american?" BUt sope just said „Nope" and kicked him in the crotch. The juggernaut dropped to the florr and cried in agony because soap busted his balls. Then, sope curbstomped him.

„Are you okay, soap?" Asked captain price.

„Yes, expect the little scratch on my chest" said soap badasilly and they continued their search for shepherd.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

At the same time, captain rpcei and nicolo were cleaning the building. They were surrounded by enemy troops that shot at them relayentlessly.

„I'm running out of bullets, comrade!" said nicolai to captain price, „If we don't stop the troops, thjey will kill us!"

„What should we do, Price?" asked nicola.

„Stop them" answered Price and throw a grenade to the enemis. The grenade exploded and turned a huge group of enemies into a bloody mess. Then, price charged at them while dual-wielding akimbo assault rifles, all while shouting insults at them and looking fucking badass. Soon, everybody in the room was dead, except price and and Nikolai.

„Wow, how did you do this?" asked nikoal, but rpcie was to busy litting his cigarette on one of his enemies burning bodies.

They were interrupted by a person in a blue uniform that kicked a door open while smoking a cigarette. It was... General Shepherd!

„I was waiting for you", said he.

„Shepherd! Your evil plans are never going to work!" Siad price.

„Your… feeble attemps to ruin my mastapaln amuse me, captain price. Your… foolishg struggle merely delays the innvitable doom, you old fool. Nobdy in the histry of menkind ever stod aganst General Shepprad and won, and niether will you! Why don't you just give up, Price? It would make things sooo much more… easy, for both of us. Your… foolish struggle merely delays the inovative doom, my old friend. And no, prepare to die, CAPTAIN PRICE! FOR I AM THE ALLMYTHGI GENRAL SHEPHRAERD, THER FALEN ANGEL, THE HARBIGNER OF DOOM, THE LEAD ER OF OF A BILLION NIGHBTMARES! !"

Then he gave price roundhosue kick in the face and price was flying across the room, until he hit a shelf full of glasses which then collapsed on Captan price. Captain Price laay on the floor, and General Shpeperd walked towards him very slowly.

"It's apity to watch such a promising Sodlier die", said Genreal Sheppard eavily, but he was iotnerpurted by Nikolas, who kicked him in the back. However, Genreal Shepherd just turned around very slowly and locked his adverasairy in the eyes. Then, he said "DIE, RUSSIAN PIG!" and punched Niklods in the face. Nikolos head burstedf into many pieces and his

brian and blood was speared around the floor and the ceilign.

"!" said captain price dramatically, but it was too late and nikolai was dead and huis head was missing. Price was imbodue with Rage as he saw that Nikolai was dead and his head was missing. He lifted the shjelfd upt that collapsed on him and threw it on General Spephard. But Spehzehrd was too strong and the shelf was destryoed into many pieces.

"You have killed my friends, and now Fist will kill you!", screamed pricer and assualted the evil General. He tried to punch him in the head, but Genreal Shephgerd was too fast so he doged the strike and told prcie "You are too slow, fool!"

But price didn't give up. He punched Shepherd even more, but didn't hit him because Shepehrd dodged the strikes. Then, sherpda yelled "SHORYUKEN!" and punched Price across the room!

He then walked very slowly towards price and said: "I will miss you, my friend!", but porice just took out a grenade and said: "I will miss you, my friend!" and blew himself up.

Shperdasd was thrown around by the explosion and he hit the walls. Everyhitng was full of debris, and there were many flames. Then, sheperhd stood up, looked around and laughed evily: "MUAHAHAHAHA!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Soap was still searching for shepard. He looked for him everywhere, but he couldn't find him. Then, he saw a room full of debris, and figuerd out that mabye sheperd was hiding there so he went to the room and looked around. Then, suddenly, he saw captain price lieing on the groudn. With his intestines hanging out of his stomach and a lot of third degree burns and blood everywhere.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed soap dramatically. "Wake up, Price!" said soap and shaked price, but price wouldn't wake up. T

hen, he suddenly woke up and said, woundedly: "I'm dead now, soap. You have to gow on without me."

"But you are my captrain! I wont let you down!", said soap, and a tear dropped down on captain price.

"You have a mission to accomplish, soldier!" said caitopan Price, "so go on without me and send this bastard to hell! You are america's only hope!"

Then, Price was dead. Soap began to cry because he was dead now, but he knew that he had a mission to accomplish and that he was americas only hope, so he stood up and said "I have to do what I have to be done and defeat General Shepperd!"

He then wipped prices blod from his handws because he accidentally grabbed in his intestines and then he said to captain price "let's go and defeat Sehperd!" and the two walked away badassily from the gory spectacle. They knew that they kneeded to put shepahrd dwon.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Together, captain Soap walked into a room and yelled "Where aere you, sheperd! I will kill you, you evil coward!"

Suddenly, a man said "Ha ha ha! You are so funny, you pathetic idiot! You dare to kill me, the great gerenal Shephrad? Laughable! The only reason why you are still alive is because you amuse me! Now, prepare to die, Soap!"

It was… genreal sheepherd!

"Come down from there and let us fight like real man!", said Sopa, because sheperd was on a plattform.

But shepoerd just said "I don't think you are worth an honorous death, captain Soap! For years, the british have ruined america with their high taxes, and now, you think we forgive you jnust because we aren't your colony anymore? Now, Britain will be _our_ colony! Prepare to die, Soap!"

Suddenly, there were ninjas everywhere! The ninjas unsheated their swords and looked at soap, but soap just said badassily "very good, I needed a little warmup!"

The first ninja attacked soap, but soap punched him in the face with his cyber arm. Brain was flying around everywhere, and the ninja had no head anymore! Then, a second ninja tried to surprise soap from behind with a knife, but soap just turned around, dodged the strike and punched him in half. The other ninjas stood around him and watched in horror as their advertesary ripped the spine out of another ninnja and shot another one in the chest, killing him.

"What are you waiting for?", said shepherd unpatiently, "Kill him!"

The ninjas all rushed towards soap because they were afraid of the evil general. Suddenly, everything was full of blood and chunks of raw flesh and sheperd couln'dt see anything because his view was obscured by a cloud of blood and dust. He started to smile because he thought that soap was dead, but then, the dust settled and soap was standing there on top of a pile of corpses while holding the head of a ninja in his cyber arm.

"I am rather unimpressed", said soap rather unimpressed. "Now, I will kill you, just as you killed captain price!"

"I don't think so", said shepehd and took out his revolver.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!", yelled soap as sheperd shot captain price in the chest, "!1"

"Are you okay, price?" asked soap his mentor, and captain price said: "I don't think I'm gonna make it, soap. You need to stop this madman before he destroys the world!" And then, captain price was dead.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed soap tragically,

"YOU HAVE KILLED PRICE!"

"AND NOW, I WILL KILL YOU!" said sehpard and jumped from his plattform. The two looked into each others eyes and prepared for the final battle…


	6. The End?

**Chapter 6**

The two enemies where running against where running each other. Soap tried to give roundhouse kick to Shpeperd, but the evil General dodged the kick and said "You will die, you fool! How dare you defeat the great General Shepperd? Don't you realise that The two enemies where running against where running each other. Soap tried to give roundhouse kick to Shpeperd, but the evil General dodged the kick and said "You will die, you fool! How dare you defeat the great General

Shepperd? Don't you realise that your… foolsih struggle doesn't impairs my plan for world dominance in the slightest? DIE, SOAP!"

Then he gave soap a devastating punch in the face which smacked out one of his teeth. Soap made a backflip through the air and crashed against a shelf that was full of glass and plates so it made loud noises.

Shepherd walked very slowly towards soap and laughed maniacally before drawing his .44 revolver and pointing it at soap.

"Do you have anything your last words to say?", sadi shepherd horribly.

"Yes", said soap, "I have something to say." And then he draw something and said "die!" before shooting sehperd with a pistol.

"And now, you dead!", said soap and smiled because now, nightmare was over.


	7. The End!

**Chapter 7**

Soap was on the street again and waited for a car to come so he could drife home. He found one but the driver didn't give it to him but it was okay because soap bashed the drivers head against the car and everywhere was brain but it was okay because the driver was a pedofile. Then, soap was driving again but he was hungary so he went to Mcdonals to order cheeseburger.

He was at the McDrive and thought about what had happened. Captin Prize was now dead because he was killed, so Soap was very depressed.

"What do you want?", asked him the voice in the speaker.

"A whopper, plz" he said and drove forward.

"Good morning in Mcdonals and here is your burgher with a double portion of **FUCK YOU**!" yelled the guy that gave him cheeseburger! He wore a burgerking outfit and looked like a general and he had a big mustache. It was…GENERAL SHEPPAD!

And then, he gave soap round house kick. Soap was thrown againnst a shelf full of glasses and shepperd was walking towards him very slwowly and dramatically.

"Did you really believe your… feeble attempts would prove sufficient to defeat me? ME? THE GREAT GENERAL SHEPEPRD! Pitiful! I shall wrekc havoc upon you, foolish american! DIE, CAPTN SOP!", said the general evuly.

But soap wasn't defeatet yet so he stood up fastly and punched sheppard in stomach and then in face before delivering an dewastating uppercut to him! Shepperd made a backflip through the air and was launched into the McDonolds. Soap took out its Assaut Rilfe and shot into the McDonals and he killed a lot of people, spraying everything full of blood and intestines and killing them but it was okay because they were from the mafia! Then, he jumped through a window that had

glass and was in the burgerking but shepperd wasn't there but he was and attacked soap from behind with dragon kick.

Soap was htrown across the room and landed on a table that had lots of glass and plates on it! Sheperd walked towards him very slowly before shooting the family that eated there because he was evil.

"Why did you shoot them? They were innocent!" asked suap upsetted because he was angry!

"Collateral Casualties, soap. And no, prepare to die, **Captain McTa…**" said shepperd but he was interrupterd when soap punched him in the face, punching most of it's teeth out!

"This is for Ghost!", said soap. Then, he punched him again, "This is for Roach!" and then again "This is for Price!", tearing his jaw off. And then, he made the forbidden Punch of ultimate doom, reducing shepperds head to a fountain of blod and brains!

And then he said "And this is for **AME****RICA****AAAAA****!**"

Then, soap left the gruesome spectacle, happy because now, he has avenged his friend's deaf.


End file.
